FLC Overview Video – Fall 2022

Fibrolamellar carcinoma is what #TheLegendaryToby died from.

The twins love AC/DC

The twins love AC/DC, and I’m okay with that.

When one of my twins start fussing.

Welcome, Enid and Asher

Here’s a long-overdue post.

On November 3, 2022, at 11:30 am, my wife and I welcomed Enid (7lb 0.2oz) and Asher (6lb 4.9oz) Montgomery into the world.

As is common with premature twin deliveries, theirs was not without issues — which we are still managing now and is the cause for the delay in this update.

The primary concern was that they both lost more than 10% of their birth weight. Because they are primarily breastfed, it has taken more time for that weight to recover. Though I’m pleased to report that they have recovered that weight.

That recovery was due to Emily and I working simultaneously to feed the twins every 3 hours at the latest, earlier if either expressed a desire for it. This means that for the last 3+ weeks, neither Emily or I have slept through the night, which hasn’t been pleasant. Fortunately, I’m taking parental leave until February, so there’s no rush to be anywhere in the morning.

The twins are growing. Their faces are filling out, and their appetites continue to increase. We’re hopeful that they’ll soon take on more supplementation at a time, further apart, to allow us more than 1.5-2 hours of sleep at a time. 😉 But in the meantime, there are worse things than waking up with these two.

“On Program” sounds like a great thing to teach kids. #StarWars #Andor

Cold tomato soup is really just a smoothie.

Waking up to these two. ❤️

Synchronicity

Perhaps it would help to first understand something about me: I’m satisfied to contemplate the existence of some higher or greater being or beings as a possible hypothesis until such time science is able to confirm or deny any such thing. Otherwise, I’m agnostic.

Since Toby died, I’ve observed many unexplainable things. I’ve come to learn that grieving parents often refer to such events as synchronicities, mostly in the context of evidence of higher spiritual events taking place. I’m aware that the things I’ve observed can simply be the result of my traumatized mind trying to make sense of a tragic thing that has occurred. That may be so.

Or maybe, in trying to make sense of things, I’m observing things I wouldn’t have otherwise. Things I would normally have taken for granted.

It’s taken me nearly 2 years to build enough strength to share this particular synchronicity. It left me with questions that I’ll never know the answer to.

Around November 17, 2020, Toby shared a bad dream that he had with me. He described having to take off a medical mask because it was drenched in tears from him feeling so sad. This was around the time that he was just starting his Cancer treatment.

Within a few weeks of Toby’s dream, at an appointment for Toby at Sick Kids, we learned that Toby’s treatment was not working, and he did not have any viable treatment options for his cancer.

After receiving that news at the hospital, while heading downstairs to get a coffee, I suddenly had a panic attack. I had to pull down my mask to cry as I was hyperventilating and it was soaked with tears.

Just like in Toby’s dream.

I can’t help but wonder if Toby experienced synchronicities in dreams.

In July 2021 (hence the awesome COVID haircut), as we were cleaning out Toby’s room, I was reminded of that moment in Sick Kids. I decided to take these photos. I’m not sure why. I guess I felt that it was my way of contemplating this question without an answer. A way to remember Toby, his impact on my life, and how his bad dream became my very real nightmare.

For Sale: Gazelle NL Electric-Assist Bicycle

My wife won’t have a need for her bicycle next year when we’ve moved north, which is sad, because she really likes it.

Because it’s relatively new — only 3 years old — and hardly used, we’re selling it!

Price: $2,000

Details

  • Gazelle NL, 8-speed electric-assist bicycle
  • Bosch Performance Line, mid-drive electric motor
  • Only ridden 152 km!
  • 500 watt-hour battery
  • Full lighting complement built into the bicycle
  • Wide, Selle Royal comfort saddle
  • Mudguards
  • Front and rear racks
  • Wheel and battery lock for added security (uses same key)
  • 22-inch frame size

Interested? Get in touch with me.

The end of one journey, the start of another

“Different Spokes” is the results of years of work, some of which I was a part of early on in it’s conception. It’s where I was hoping to take The Bikeport before life pulled me in a different direction.

The bicycles in this photo represent the end of an era for my family. The cruiser-style bicycle was my wife’s, before we committed to living car-free in Brampton for what ended up being 10 years. It was later passed on to my daughter. The orange mountain bike was Toby’s, and his older brother before him. Had Toby not become ill with cancer, he would probably be at the age now where we would consider sizing him up to another bicycle. A coming of age moment.

Instead, it’s the end of an era.

This photo carries a lot of weight with me: Joy and sorrow at the same time. A composition that reflects the bizarro state of my life.

I’m beyond thrilled that BikeBrampton and Punjabi Health Community Services in Brampton were able to make this happen. This is so awesome and I’m so sorry I can’t be a stronger participant in it. The people that made this happen are amazing. I’ve no doubt that Different Spokes is going to offer an amazing space for people using bicycles in Brampton.

It’s also a bittersweet moment to donate these bicycles. I still remember my last ride with #TheLegendaryToby, before his liver failed. We rode to A&W for burgers together. It’s an experience I’ve become used to in grief where I don’t want to separate from the things that belong to Toby, knowing full well that as we prepare to move, there isn’t space or purpose for keeping it. It’s better that it “live on” in another child’s possession.